It was the summer of 2015 when I arrived in southern Thailand. Twenty-seven hours of travel with multiple layovers made this a memorable trip before I even landed. The steamy wall of 36C heat that greeted me instantly turned my dry clothes wet. While it took weeks to adjust to the tropical weather, I was instantly taken with the Thai people. Thailand rightly deserves the title “The Land of Smiles” because while many have so little, they are incredibly giving in other ways.
Meet Madam K
Which brings me to a lady I shall call Madam K (for the sake of discretion). I met her one evening while out with a few friends. We had been watching the sunset over the Andaman Sea, enjoying dinner, and, as one does, chatting with the locals. It turns out these locals were more professional—if you catch my drift—and we learned they were heading to a nearby hotspot called the Pretty Kitty (name also changed!). They invited us along.
The Pretty Kitty
The Pretty Kitty was just one bar in an alleyway packed with similar establishments. Wedged between a drugstore and a 7/11, the alley was innocuous during the day. But at night, gaudy lights and loud music served to attract the curious and ward off the pious. Families picking up groceries or sunblock would scurry past, trying not to look.
As we approached, I noticed the patrons—a mix of Western men and Thai women. By day, this alley was a dark, shadowy hole. By night, it was alive.
Into the Darkness
The main street was well-lit and bustling. As I stepped into the dimly lit alley, a woman (at least, I think it was a woman—it turns out that’s sometimes hard to tell in Thailand!) approached me.
“You wanna massage, honey?” she drawled, elongating her words in the musical Thai accent.
“No, thank you,” I replied.
The moment I spoke, she noticed our group and quickly stepped back to her spot along the alley wall. At first, I thought she had simply accepted my refusal. Later, I discovered the real reason: there was a VIP among us—a Thai Madam.
A VIP Amongst Us
My friends and I walked deeper into the alley, past tiny bars filled with women and men. Music blared from each. Catcalls and “offers” followed us until we were ushered into the Pretty Kitty. We took seats outside at a few small tables, and my “education” began.
The older lady in the group sat to my left. It’s hard to tell the age of Thai people—they age gracefully—but she had a calmer demeanor than the younger girls. She also dressed differently.
Hands-on Management
As I later discovered, she owned the Pretty Kitty and was accompanying the newer girls to ensure “quality control.” Apparently, meeting Western men in public spaces required oversight. More surprisingly, she took a personal interest in me—unusual, because Madam K managed her bar girls but didn’t typically participate in the festivities.
Playing Pool & People-Watching
The night wore on. Drinks were bought and consumed, cigarettes smoked, and the group dwindled as people paired off. But not me—I played pool with the owner, and damn, could this woman hustle. As an aside, never play bar games with Thai people, especially Connect 4. They love that game and have perfected their strategies. I won maybe two games my entire time in Thailand. Now Jenga? That game I could crush—much to the annoyance of many a bar girl and bar boy (a story for another time).
Losing & Learning
Lining up a tricky multi-ball shot, Madam K asked if I wanted any company. I politely declined and instead shared my fascination with how the alleyway operated. She smiled. We finished our game (which I lost), then sat down to talk. That’s when she revealed she owned the Pretty Kitty. As it turns out, she was a wealth of business and marketing insights.
Here’s What Madam K Taught Me About Marketing:
1) Wear a Uniform
Each bar in the alley had a uniform. Every bar girl wore the same outfit as her colleagues. Some bars changed their colors daily, but the style remained the same. If you saw a girl earlier in the evening, you knew where she would be later that night.
Takeaway: Brand consistency matters. If you have a customer-facing business, uniforms provide familiarity, professionalism, and brand reinforcement.
2) Be Nice. Smile.
Madam K insisted that her bar girls smile and be polite. Smiling customers bought more drinks. Some bars relied solely on the girls’ physical appeal, but those with warm, engaging staff always had more beer-buying customers.
Takeaway: Never forget the basics. SMILE. BE NICE. It costs nothing and pays back handsomely.
3) Concentrate & Cluster
All the “special” bars were in one alley—nowhere else in town. Customers knew exactly where to go. If one bar didn’t suit them, they could easily try another.
Takeaway: Business clusters work. Malls, restaurant districts, and industry conferences thrive because of proximity. Find ways to cluster with complementary businesses.
4) Incentivize Your Staff
Madam K paid her bar girls a 30% cut of bar sales—drinks, cigarettes, chips, everything. The more business they brought in, the more they earned.
Takeaway: Find ways to share revenue. Commission-based incentives align employees’ success with the company’s.
5) Use Ascension Sales
Girls started with a small “ask”—”Would you like a drink?” Most men said yes. Later, they asked if the man would buy them a drink too. Most said yes again, not realizing the girls ordered premium-priced cocktails. By the time the final “ask” came, the pattern was set.
Takeaway: Structure your sales in a series of small commitments. Start with a free or low-cost offer, then progressively introduce higher-value options.
6) Price to Value
Drinks at the Pretty Kitty were twice the price of regular bars, yet men paid without hesitation. The alley provided exclusivity, and pride kept them from walking across the street for cheaper drinks.
Takeaway: Never price on cost alone—price based on perceived value and experience.
7) Use Golden Handcuffs
Madam K didn’t take a cut of the girls’ private earnings, but she charged them a “bar fine” of 500 Baht ($15) if they left with a client. This compensated for lost bar revenue.
Takeaway: Consider strategic “golden handcuffs” for staff or vendors—fees, membership benefits, or exclusivity perks that ensure mutual commitment.
The Morning Sun
Madam K and I talked until morning. Much of what she shared made me smile, blush, and laugh. Unlike my friends, I never had to buy a drink, a cigarette, or even a meal—somewhere around 2 AM, she invited me to a closed restaurant she had “influence” with.
As we walked down the alley, the catcalls changed to whistles. The other bar girls undoubtedly thought Madam K had a new “friend.” I smiled and played along. No need to embarrass the woman who had been so kind and open.
Southern Thailand seems so far away now. But I still remember the beautifully messy streets, the unusual smells, and, of course, the people—nearly always smiling.
And who could forget Madam K, the Pretty Kitty, and one of the most interesting nights of my life?
